| switchin it up a bit |
[Dec. 23rd, 2004|08:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Gwen stefani- What you waiting for??? | ] |
So i think I've had this journal for about 4 years now and, though i never post. I think its about time to suck it up and get a new journal... Some of you won't be on my friends list anymore, sorry to say, but, what the fuck, who do i talk to anymore anyway... Maybe if you would like you can always rekindle friendships... But, comment on this journal and i shall add you on the new one... So if you care to know... I could just start posting on a regular basis again... Keep in touch
-Rachel |
|
|
| ahhhh..... |
[Aug. 23rd, 2004|08:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  artistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Radiohead- how to dissapear completely | ] |
A sigh of relief as Rachel unlocks the door of her house, after a long, tough day at the good ol' fish place.
Lately, i am down. Boys have practice tonight and i think jeremy has school tom. I have an urge to be creative and insightful tonight, but no one is up... It's a peacefull, painfull, numb night, and i have nothing to do
~out |
|
|
| DANG ON |
[Aug. 17th, 2004|11:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
| [ | music |
| | van morrison - domino | ] |
Dang on' mang erebody in kentuckee bee craaaazy like in the farms and with all da farmers. Weez be doin dumb shit down south here like ridin da horsies anda milkin de cowzes. eva hearda corn hole? well in kentucky that means we throw bean bags and try to land them in granny's ass. Weez gonna change tha name to "BEAN ASS" as soon as the majority of us knows how to spell it, or spell period! God Damn we's crazy bitches down here. If ya find my dog franklin youzz better let me know cause he's in the runnin for the next mayor of rabbit hash. he be crazy like, talkin like he gon put a new "roof" on ere body house we say he's a crazy dog but always good at helping me hunt down some deer within my big dirty guns i has... We all gon vote bush forde prezident jus cuz he likin dem guns, but de army don't take us cuz we got no teeth and if jerry would just stop gettin dem cowes in der behinds den maybe dey tinks wez civilized peeple.
So find a granny, and my dog, get a dictionry, and vote fer dubya. We can have a fine time playin bean ass while we teach peeple how to read, with franklin the dog puttin new "roofs" on dem houses and we can watch de world go to shit with our renew prezident of de u s a... yippity doo daa!
That's what were really like
~out |
|
|
| it's almost 2 oclock!!!! |
[Aug. 14th, 2004|11:02 am] |
updating everyday now... wait you know thats a lie... I never update and i will det tired of this in a few days...
Dave came back... All is well... Dave's friends seem to think were crazy hillbillies. I thought they had parties in chi-town but i guess not. Anyway, nice guys, old friends, good times...
Liz pukes... kristin is back!!!!
callin jeremy right now gotta go! |
|
|
| sick |
[Jul. 26th, 2004|12:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | i'm whistling canada's anthem! just kidding that's overboard | ] |
i am sick.... my throat is clogged and i don't know what to do seriously! i feel helpless... i just had mono last summer so i figure i know i've felt worse...but i just want to cry, and my nose is running a nostril at a time so i wake up in the middle of the night to switch the side im sleeping on so as to not leak snot onto my pillows.. gross huh?
anyway i figured i'd update since i am supposed to be doing school work and shit, but once again im not and i could care less because i have to wait a year to go to college...IN CANADA! yes it's official, my grandma is such a crazy bush-hater, that she is sendig me out of the country and if i am good she'll buy my citizenship too... grandma says when i visit her..."Anything to get my grandchildren out of that damned drafting circle!" so what grandma doesn't realize is the drinking age is a lot closer to my age in canada, so if your grand daughter doesnt die in the war, she will probably die of alcohol poisoning...
all i really had to say
~out
oh wait i forgot.. so jeremy are you having a party or not because last post i read from you said your gram was comin up??? |
|
|
| So here's what goes down |
[Jun. 7th, 2004|03:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | thursday- war all the time | ] |
First of all nicole and jessica i feel terrible for not being able to return your phone calls to get coffee... instead i was at home being grounded until december 6th of 2004. yes you heard me, grounded until legal...
1) dad calls me a worthless bum
2) i say to dad (which i could never to say to my parents before) "FUCK YOU!"
3) walk outside to have a cigarette and call josh....
4) josh drives me to louisville, with out my parents knowing...
5) i leave almost like ransom note text messages on mom and dad's phone
6) they leave messages that tell me they miss me and they want me to come home on my voice mail
7) I tell THEM to discuss things like adults and i will come home...
8) i come home
9) I am grounded until the end of my high school career....
10) dad takes out my car battery
so that's it
out~ |
|
|
| what a day |
[May. 19th, 2004|12:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | common sense... old school | ] |
Lately all my friends are sleeping or at school, and on days like this one when i have to work at four, i sit on my ass and watch soap operas, so i decided today, i will sit on my ass and update instead... but i got some gushy news anyways...
On monday bryan, chris, matt, and i decided to take a trip to louisville just for the evening...I didn't think it would be that great but it was crazy!!! Theyre were coffee shops everywhere and this place called ear extacy-- which put phil's in its fucking place.... We went to a coffee shop on the corner of this main street and when we walked in "spinning plates" was playing.... Bryan says "That's just the kinda town this is, theyre all artsy i guess..." I flipped. the town was gorgeous, full of smart people, and played some damn good music in the coffee shops... Now, the kicker... While in the cd shop we over hear this guy talkin about the cicadas on his cell phone, he says "no dude, ive seen em, theyre out man, they are OUT" We went outside and walked next to a freshly cut yard it had chunks of grass on the side walk.... The chunks moved... You get the picture...
So yesterday Chris Bryan and I take a trip to devou and saw the remodeling of the over look... it sucks so bad... looks like a memorial.... We saw some fucking cicadas there too...
Chris spent his money wisely... that's all i can say
AppleBee's is now completely non smoking, so when we got there last night everyone and there mother was outside... Kinda pointless to have half of your resturant outside smoking when you want them to order desert... I bet they will start putting pictures of food out around the doors so people remember where they are and remember that they came to eat, not sit out in the rain and smoke... So anyways bryan chris and i are finished with our meals and bryan asks if we can step outside... Waiter says "oh to smoke? sure! sure!" I think everyone feels bad about that stupid rule... But here's my view on it... Make a separate bar next door where people can smoke and drink... (Id be pissed if i couldn't enjoy a cigarette with my beer) And have the family resturant stay the same minus the bar...Makes perfect sense to me. I mean it's like this... your shopping and the woman next to you is wearing way too much purfume..i think that is the same reaction you get with cigarette smoke, since a lot of people do not smoke. I'd completely understand if someone made a smelly old lady stand outside for me... Anyway I am going out to have a smoke and who do i see?? Everyone from boone county high school... Stacy sanchezzz, and nate-o, and kate reed, and adam phent,and katie madden... and they all say things to me at once... and it's all something like this...."OH MY GOD RACHEL THODE! WHAT HAPPENED! WHY DONT YOU GO TO SCHOOL? WHY DID YOU SKIP OUT ON MIKE POURI? DO YOU DO DRUGS???" I said no... but i had a great time... I miss Stacy like heaven, she's awesome....
So the last and most important part of the evening...Matt meets us at K-mart and says to chris when he gets in the car... "Here's what's going down".... blah blah blah, and (who expected this one) brad is out of the band... he left b/c he was holdig them back... but now they can't decide what they want to do bc they had these ideas with brad and ian, but now ian is gone since brad is, and it's back to those three again...They are playing one last show together tomorrow night and get this.... brad says " Rachel can even come".... I never liked the hardcore approach and hate to say how happy i am that brad is gone, but that means meeting new people, finding better music... going to louisville? They'll be so much more interesting now... But i have to work and sadly i do not get to see the hardcore anymore... it is over with... hurrah
So Chris Flowers was supposed to give me a ring last night and that never happened... i could not make it to buttermilk because i have a spare on my car... but i would have happily met you somewhere...
In other news i was just reading entries from times past... and realized I know what a cocky asshole looks like now... I will never date one again... I can't believe i saw a different side.... I AM HEAVEN SENT BITCH
To conclude I have been very outward with this post, more than i should be, but if anyone has questions on how the last two days went feel free to call me...And by the way, anyone from boone county who has a desire to know why i left... DON'T ASSUME I KILLED MYSELF JUST CALL AND ASK 750-3979... I am sick of hearing people say "what's wrong? Why don't you go to school?" like i have some fucking disease... its a normal thing...
~out |
|
|
| POST |
[May. 7th, 2004|05:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cynical | ] |
| [ | music |
| | modest mouse float on | ] |
so......
dont have much to say.... ive been just killin time these days.... Cant seem to get my friends to call me anymore...
PLAYING FRISBEE GOLF WITH SAM EVERY DAMN DAY!!!
found my karate cd.... yesss
watched dave mathews in africa on vh1... nice
drink too much beer.... gettin chubby...
jogging in the mornings, getting out of breath, crying over it, and enjoying a cigarette afterwards....
got high with nicole for really the first time ever.... simply amazing... lovin it lovin it
CATS GROWLING
working my ass off at kohls for a measly 6.25 an hour....
MOM LOST 40 LBS.
suffering from insomnia
tim comes home
bryan likes radiohead more than i expected
brad hates me and i him
i miss amanda boner boyers
NEVER SLEEP EVER
home schooling
tried to call jeremy
no one calls me back
guys are at practice space shroomin out right now....
still can't sleep
infomercials are awesome |
|
|
| humna humna humna |
[Mar. 4th, 2004|10:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dave mathews- some devil | ] |
well i guess i should post...
sleepy... very sleepy... have a test in pouri's class tomm. no essay... this is TERRIBLE! I can always get by with a great essay even if i don't know what i am talking about, the problem is i don't do well with multiple choice, and that's what i have to master before 11 am tomm.
sides that? gettin shit faced tomorrow night... havin a blast... o, and by the way, i will never get a beer belly despite what some think... i am doing my ab-roller everynight... the directions say for 3 min, but i am doin mutha fuckin 6!
eat that!!!! |
|
|
| Time to visit the DUMP that is my journal |
[Feb. 29th, 2004|05:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Thursday- war all the time | ] |
Watched the guys do crazy things last night and drew was bein mad at me...he called me fifteen, but i don't care, he's a cocky asshole who only cares about himself and his hair looks like shit. Hung out with Sam last night and drove aroung for like 2 hrs. met this girl maria, likes dave mathews, and van morrison, she was drunk, i was buzzin, we had an odd time, very friendly girl, some how kinda reminds me of kelley when she's wasted though and that's a problem....
went to waffle house with josh c. and he was crazy like, we spent a dolla and 50 cent on some of the best music waffle house has to offer on their handy dandy karaoke machine...
they had go to sleep and i loved it...
feelin outta place with everybody right now, don't know what i will do with my life and it seems all i do is hang out with the pals and i don't really have time to analyze anything that's goin on in my head at the time... i think there is a good reason for that...i don't complain as much when i am chillin with the home dogs... can't say that i exactly enjoy my lack of motivation though, I look forward to Pouri's class because that is the most fun i have sober for a whole hour and a half, gotta go rent 4 doors, it's like 4 different screens all together with different directors and quinton terrantino (can't spell man) directed one, supposed to be amazing
think i will stop writin for a while, i don't like tellin my life story on this piece of shit |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2004|11:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | paula cole- throwing stones | ] |
Carmen, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know if I can go back
Carmen I'll never be, never be, never be the same again
Carmen...
The way you set the table
the way you lean to tell me something soft
the way I can see into you
the way you tell me I talk too much about myself
It's true I talk too much about myself
but right now, right now all I wanna talk about is you now
Carmen, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know if I can go back
Carmen I'll never be, never be, never be the same again
Carmen...
I love the way you think
is it biological or all the acid
you've eaten
just take me into your body
I wanna be drunk I wanna be high
I wanna be drunk I wanna be high on you
Carmen, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know if I can go back
Carmen I'll never be, never be, never be the same again
Carmen...
I don't know...
I don't know...
if I can go... back
I don't know....
i think this is (besides the luckiest by mr. ben folds) is the sweetest love song i have ever heard... |
|
|
| humna humna humna |
[Jan. 14th, 2004|08:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | i just bought the ryan adams cd, and it's great! | ] |
my parents and i disscussed home schooling today... Not like i am a bad kid er anything, but the only reason i liked boone county was for the forensics team... anyway i only have one credit left to get and i could get that out of the way this summer and start school a year early... it sounds like an alright idea to me, but i dont know if i want my diploma looking that of a ged.
anyways, i am undgrounded on sunday, everyone should call me because i don't have school on monday, and i will party till the sun comes up...
umm... mr. Chris is there a problem??? i want to call you but i think there is a reason you're not answering me... look, if mike is around and he doesnt want us talking i understand, but what the hell dude?? i've lost all contact with you!
roar... |
|
|
| school |
[Jan. 12th, 2004|04:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | damien rice- volcano | ] |
mr. pouri... i love you...
today, mr. pouri unzipped my backpack and let me walk halfway down the hallway like that... then he ran up and zipped it back up... the funny thing is, i had this vision (the same vision kevin spacey has in american beauty when mena suvari touches his shoulder to get the rootbeer)... he grabbed my shoulder in FUCKING SLOW MOTION GUYS!
i am so dumb... i don't know why i am struggling in chemcom... i haven't had any tests or anything, i am just scared... i guess i am just wiggin out...
I am so bored, ive begun playing that stupid roller coaster tycoon game... for 6 days straight that's all ive done...
pathetic
oh and by the by: i got a new screen name for aol if you haven't been messeged yet...
smoothiesnacks
don't ask, i saw this commercial when i was figuring out what my new name should be. this woman was enjoying her yogurt like it was an orgasm...a "smoothie snacks" entitled orgasm that is... i decided if i could think of an orgasm every time i signed on to aol, i would chuckle a bit...or crave one... or crave a smoothie... either way i'd be enjoying myself |
|
|
| bleh bleh bleh |
[Jan. 10th, 2004|11:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fiona fiona fiona and more fiona.... | ] |
So the funny thing is i figured i would post a lot more this week since i have been grounded, and i actually have enjoyed my time sleeping, and working, and watching american beauty... silly silly
so i have mr. pouri this semester and i'll be damned if my heart hasn't thumped through every class... i just wanna rip off his pants and bang him like a drum... one day... one day we will be together...
um i don't know what else to say....
nicole, i hear you are needin a friend...
give my cellular device a ring...
i have to get those pictures taken jeremy... so lets finish that up... soon as i am off of my "house arrest"
wow am i bored
josh gave me a cd with fiona doing a cover of use me by the withers, and radiohead and ben folds together...josh... i love you..
well i am off to think about mr. pouri, and watch american beauty again...
ahh...grounding...who came up with it... |
|
|
| what a christmas break... |
[Jan. 4th, 2004|11:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dave- "when the world ends" (how pathetic can i be?!) | ] |
So let me tell you how my days have gone for the last week or so.
1. hanging out with my old crew again, feels good, until last night, but i'll get into that in a sec.
2. got mandy hooked up with a really great guy whom i think will really treat her with respect
3. played pool with neca, josh, and whitney on friday night, had a blast till ms. knuck knuck showed up and i felt bad seeing her so i went outside. Felt a little more like shit when i ran into chris, mike, bj, his girlfriend, and some other dudes. I dont know why it was tough, just am feeling extremely depressed, can't get a boyfriend, and i feel like i need one to have fun. All of my ex's seem to be having a blast without me, why can't i be happy single??? oh i know why, because of this...
4. hang out at brad's apartment with josh, bryan, and robert quite often because, like me, they all enjoy drinking games... cool with me, till things get out of control... Robert attempted to kiss me, and i didn't want to, because we are very different people. He likes fights, sex, and rap music, things that i can no longer force myself into just to make conversation with people, so i stick to the breakfast club (a favorite movie of mine, and the rest of the guys), and drinking games. For some reason i like to get away at the apartment, ofcourse i am starting to get sick of the comments made by kelley for me being there... just keep thinkin that i let everyone of the guys in that place stuff me like a turkey kelley, it's really making me hate you more than i already do for threatening to "take it to the parking lot"...if that doesn't sound trashy, i don't know what does...
5. the one i can't get off of my mind... Donnie... met donnie at a gas station and he invited us to a party... from then on i was so intrigued by this guy because he reminds me of me, only better... that's exactly what i look for in somebody and donnie has it... he likes dave mathews and dashboard confessional, he doesn't criticize my drinking habits, and he has amazing eyes... he reminds me of mike, and i know that's retarded to say, but this is the first time i haven't thought about him. hearing donnie sing "when the world ends" in my ear while we make out on his computer desk is enough to think about for hours, though we stopped to hold stefanie's hair up while she puked (which is funny because i am usually the one chillin with my head in the commode), but even more romantic is that stupid little farm house he lives in...and every bed has an electric blanket... he told me i had beautiful eyes, and i am sweet for taking care of stefanie, also i "can drink like the rest of em" (surprising i know)... donnie snores like a bitch, but that's his only flaw, and i told him i'm not having sex for years, to which he agreed was a good idea, but then oral sex is still okay... who can go without that??? he said "bye baby" when i left in the morning, i didnt think he was awake... he's sneaky like that... but the problem is i don't think he wants a relationship and i am begging for one... and it was also be a terrible idea to base one on alcohol, which we drink everynight that we're together... i make it sound like such a big deal but really it's not... the point is i like the guy, and i haven't liked anyone since mr. wind... ofcourse they have the same sense of humor, both love dave mathews, both love the "family guy" tv show, both love to drink, and are both 21 years old. i think i am getting myself into some shit again, and that is why i am sulking on this live journal... so i will stop for the evening...thankyou for listening to the giddiness of the child that i am... goodnight |
|
|
| um happy new yizzear |
[Jan. 2nd, 2004|03:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dave mathews band- satellite | ] |
I haven't posted in a while, but i guess i should, since jeremy says every time i post some exciting shit goes down afterwards...maybe since i am in a peaceful state, none of us will start yelling.
anyway, drank mass on new years, dont remember much, spent the night with josh at my house, altogether it was a boring night...
i hate kelley o. she called me a slut for no reason... she is one silly little girl...
there you go jeremy, i started some shit....
well i must get tan, then go to work till ten thirty
lauren have fun at the concert tonight you bitch, wish i could go, but i don't want anyone to think i am too interested, and i must work... fuck that |
|
|
| im really sorry i said this... |
[Dec. 12th, 2003|12:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dave mathews - christmas song | ] |
woweee...I want to be nice right now, but i'm really, really, struggling... All I can say is don't take offense to this with out realizing that it's a simple retaliation tactic...I really don't want to make you feel bad, I just feel like I was shot down pretty hardcore, and I don't know how to respond...so here goes, don't hate me for it, that's something that nathan would do (no seriously, i'm not comparing the two of you to make you feel bad i swear)
3--2--1--GO!
my oh my
you had me worried... I thought that you didn't know you're tires were going to be slashed... I thought you also knew that I wasn't a psycho, heh, proved that one wrong i guess... well I'm glad you're scared of children, you know my high school pals are pretty crazy sometimes...
I am also glad that you don't know how to get a restraining order...after all I was in fact there to see chris silly, and you were drunk, so i kept my mouth shut. guess I'm lucky cause I sure did make you look like the bad guy, in my eyes at least. Kinda makes me feel like you're boasting to your friends that I'm a freak, and ten years old, but it seems that you're the one that's mistaken, drunk, and ten...
most of all, I am so very glad that you apologized for being a little out spoken the other night...had i come across this not knowing that you thought you could talk about me like garbage, I don't know what crazy things i might say back...especially if intoxicated....
the whole tire slashing is a little outta hand pal, i know you like to make me look like the type of loser that would do such a thing, but you know me better, despite what you tell your friends, you know me better....
so i guess i should warn you about this little side note too...but i think it would be a lot funnier if you happened across it when you were sober...I know it's hypocritical yes, but I can be clean of alcohol long enough to realize what I've said sometimes, especially if i feel i may hurt someone's feelings... wow, did i say hurt feelings?? yes, mike, you really did hurt my feelings, and though you intend to, I do not intend to hurt yours...
(Reply to this)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Post a new comment) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 17th, 2003|11:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  rejected | ] |
| [ | music |
| | um duh...true love waits | ] |
I'll drown my beliefs
To have you be in peace
I'll dress like your niece
To wash your swollen feet
Just don't leave
Don't leave
And true love waits
In haunted attics
And true love wins
On lollipops and crisps
Just don't leave
Don't leave
I'm not living
I'm just killing time
Your tiny hands
Your crazy kiss and smile
Just lonely, longing
Just lonely, longing
....my point exactly....god i love radiohead...they express every emotion i have ever had... |
|
|
| this is dumb |
[Nov. 16th, 2003|01:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | um duh radiohead- mixamatosis if that's how you spell it... | ] |
so I thought about making this a private entry because i know the shit that i'll get for posting this, but I'm thinking no one reads this anyway so whatever...
went out with nicole last saturday night, had a milkshake and discussed my problems with mike...she told me to dump him but i didnt listen...soon enough it fell apart like um...i don't know let's find a good analogie...paper in the rain??? um sure why not...
I said i love you to him on the phone and he didnt say it back...how retarded I am to think after an entire week that he didnt spend time with me, he would want to say it... so i went to talk to chris and mike was there...obviously, they live together duh...got sick to my stomach...puked...smoked...and cried all in an hour...and listened to the things i didnt want to hear...Chris has been great... I figure everyone gets sick of me talk about how depressed i am but chris gives me input...even if he's making it up... I really love him for that...
went into work last night and listened to josh bitch about the terrible close i had the other night...i think i'll just quit...but how useless are you in life if you can't even do a good job at a fucking fish resturant
got really drunk last night, then went bowling with chris and dave, and his friends and moped like a child because i missed mike...then he showed up with his walgreens friends...boy was my heart thumping, so he says "how are you" and i said "alright" and he said "doesn't look like it" though the bowling alley had stamped me with the butterfly stamp "you cant drink stamp" I had dave buy me eight beers...I think I had 10 all together...wow like old times
so over the intercom at the alley i heard "will david dennis come up to the dj booth" so I ran up there thinking wow hes back...I found this tall blond kid at the booth and said "has dave dennis been up here yet?" he laughed. "I am dave dennis" It was the funniest thing that happened all night...he showed me his id and everything cause i thought he was playing around...heh dave dennis is a tall skinny blond who works a dj booth...
we gave dave dennis the brand new cd and asked him to play it...he said he could only play one or two songs, but then he came and found us and said he love the cd and asked if we'd mind if he played it for the rest of the night...it was lovely...
bowled next to this couple in their early thirties who had snorted a line of cocaine in the bathroom just minutes before we began bowling...I was drunk...they were fucked up...and we all began dancing to some country song that i didnt know...It was grand... i laid down on the chairs and dave sat on me and tried to make me guzzle beer...i thought i would puke...then the coke lady helped him pour it into my mouth and begged me to let her buy me another one...she kept pulling me up and making me dance with her...really really creepy like....
went to chris' apartment to sleep, and mike was drunk as ever...i think he had beat me by two or three beers but, he's alot bigger than me... so i think we were at the same level...he was singing at the top of his lungs and telling us about his night...which i didn't find ammusing at all only because i wasnt there to spend it with him... im still madly in love with the guy he used to be... so i asked chris to run and get me a pack of ciggarrettes and layed in the bathroom puking... then i thought i heard mike call my name and when i came in the room he was passed out... i layed next to him for like 5 minutes blubblering to myself...and trading him blankets... he was laying on the ground so i gave him a pillow... he thanked me in the morning...
so this morning i couldn't put my contacts in because my eyes were so swollen, and i sat in the bathroom as mike showered away next to me.... i can't help but wish i could have just jumped in there with him...god i miss the man...I think the reason i got so sick was because i have eaten once in the last three days and have been drinking for the last two...
Mike was leaving for the bengals game and chris was already gone so i decided to leave too...I went outside, and gave mike his john mayer cd back, the pillow he had gotten me back when he still cared about me, and an old sweatshirt of his that i was wearing the night before... he told me i didnt have to give it back, but i know if i didnt...tonight id be laying in the shirt hugging the pillow listening to the cd and i might puke again...sounds like im back to my old self again...
i drove down to rabbithash today after mike and i parted and screamed to the top of my lungs to the new dashboard cd...which at first i didnt like but i am finally getting used to...i needed some "my girlfriend broke up with me, ill slit my wrists boo hoo" shit...went through an entire back of cigarrettes and now i am out of money... i have to work tonight yeehaw... |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
death4feeling's journal
infuriated